"If you treat an individual . . .as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be." --Goethe
These have been searching days. An orgy of pollen and flowers in the air. Deluges of tropical rain. Light mists. Here in Japan, our family uses bike riding and sports in parks as a substitute for adventures in the woods and beaches. Sometimes we'll motivate to go on a hike or get to a beach, but as often as not, a couple of hours moving our bodies in a park will help us all get our ya-yas out.
When we move indoors for a few days (without benefit of outdoor recess and after school sports--cancelled from the rain), it's like entering our family's crucible. Dynamics under the microscope. Walls bounced off of. Patience stretched.
Last night I reached the end of my patience and yelled before bedtime. Not a long yell. A short one. But pretty loud. Immediately the feelings of guilt and failure set in.
"The lowest ebb is the turn of the tide."--H. W. Longfellow
So the searching within continues. As we're on this journey, I thought I'd share some the resources that have been helping me. Maybe you've yelled at your kids before? You know the terrible feeling? How do you heal after a parenting fail?
- 10 minutes after "the yelling incident," I signed up for the PATH parenting program. I've been receiving the free positive parenting email The Daily Groove for a couple of years now, on the recommendation of my friend Emily. I decided it was time to get a little more support for this time of transition. Just the hour of reading through the website and forums so far has inspiring.
- I found a great book in the library 2 days ago. It's called Full Esteem Ahead by Diane Loomans and it's filled with ways to support self-esteem in kids.
3 hours after she went to sleep, Miel woke up with an acute earache. The kind that left her unsettled and battling tears all night. Turning to my go-to book for family health issues, Naturally Healthy Babies and Children by Aviva Jill Romm, I read this under earaches along with the standard recommendations for garlic mullein oil, hot water bottle, echinacea: "Be conscious of your child's emotional environment. Is there something he or she "doesn't want to hear"? Time and time again, I have seen kids develop an earache in direct relationship to stress in their environment."
So that's we are today. White sage and peppermint tea. Breathing deeply and digging deeper.
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